How to Live a Good Life
Advice
from Wise Persons
Principles, Rules,
Essentials, Precepts, Recommendations, and Key Concepts for Right Living
Advice Regarding a Worthy Lifestyle
Adopting a Healthy and Wholesome Lifestyle
High Ideals, Models, Virtues, Key Factors
Suggestions for Developing Your Philosophy of Life
Compiled by Michael P. Garofalo
Valley Spirit Center, Gushen Grove, Red Bluff, California
Characteristics of Healthy
People
"So far as motivational status is concerned, healthy people have
sufficiently gratified
their basic needs for safety, belongingness, love, respect and self-esteem so
that they are motivated primarily by trends to self-actualization (defined as ongoing
actualization of potentials, capacitates and talents, as fulfillment of mission
(or call,
fate, destiny, or vocation), as a fuller knowledge of, and acceptance of, the
person's
own intrinsic nature, as an unceasing trend toward unity, integration or synergy
within
the person. .. These healthy people are there defined by describing their clinically
observed characteristics. These are:
1. Superior perception of reality.
2. Increased acceptance of self, of others and of nature.
3. Increased spontaneity.
4. Increase in problem-centering.
5. Increased detachment and desire for privacy.
6. Increased autonomy, and resistance to enculturation.
7. Greater freshness of appreciation, and richness of emotional reaction.
8. Higher frequency of peak experiences.
9. Increased identification with the human species.
10. Changed and improved interpersonal relations.
11. More democratic character structure.
12. Greatly increased creativeness.
13. Certain changes in the value system."
- Abraham Maslow,
Toward
a Psychology of Being, 1962.
Happiness Activities
1. Expressing Gratitude
2. Cultivating Optimism
3. Avoiding Over-Thinking and Social Comparisons
4. Practicing Acts of Kindness
5. Nurturing Social Relationships
6. Developing Strategies for Coping
7. Learning to Forgive
8. Increasing Flow Expectations
9. Savoring Life's Joys
10. Committing to Your Goals
11. Practicing Spirituality
12. Taking Care of Your Body (Meditation)
13. Taking Care of Your Body (Physical Activity)
14. Taking Care of Your Body (Acting Like a Happy Person)
15. The Five Hows Behind Sustainable Happiness: Positive Emotions,
Optimal Timing and Variety, Social Support,
Motivation, Effort,
Commitment, and Habit.
- Sonja Lyubomirsky,
The How of Happiness: A
Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want,
2008
Nine Essentials for Lifelong Vitality
"1. Moving with Attention, Wake Up to Life, Mindful Movements
2. The Learning Switch, Bring in the New, Lifelong learning, Retraining
3. Subtlety, Experience the Power of Gentleness
4. Variation, Enjoy Abundant Possibilities
5. Taking Your Time, Slowing Down, Not Rushing, Luxuriate in the Richness
of Feeling
6. Enthusiasm, Turn the Small into the Great
7. Flexible Goals, Make the Impossible Possible
8. Imagination and Dreams, Create Your Life
9. Awareness, Cultivating Mindfulness, Thrive with True Knowledge"
- Anat Baniel,
Move into Life: The Nine Essentials for Lifelong Vitality,
2009.
The Six Principles of Enlightened Living
The Six Perfections (Paramitas) in Mahayana Buddhism:
"1. Generosity: charity, kind-hearted giving, altruism, unattached
generosity, boundless
openness, unconditional love (Dana) .
2. Virtue: ethics, morality, self-discipline, not harming, proper conduct, impeccability
(Sila).
3. Patience: tolerance, forbearance, acceptance, endurance (Kshanti).
4. Energy: diligence, courage, enthusiasm, vigor, effort (Virya).
5. Meditation: absorption, concentration, presence of mind, contemplation
(Dhyana).
6. Wisdom: transcendental wisdom, mystical insight, enlightenment (Prajna)."
-
Six Perfections and
Paramitas: Buddhist Perfections (c 50
CE)
Creating Optimism
"1. Connect to Others, socialize, maintain friendships.
2. Maintain Autonomy: a feeling of independence and a sense of being
in control.
3. Self-Esteem: a function of how you perceive others view you.
4. Competence: relates to how effective you feel you are.
5. Purpose: fulfillment and meaning throughout your life.
6. Connection to Your Body: vital to our complete sense of self…
Exercise, mind/body arts, pampering, wholesome food, rest,
relaxation.
7. Connection to Nature: its permanence, its beauty and power.
8. Spirituality: a powerful weapon against depression."
- Bob Murry and Alicia Fortinberry,
Creating Optimism, 2004.
Twenty Rules for Optimal Living in the 21st Century
1. Face Reality
2. Take Action
3. Create Yourself
4. Accept Responsibility
5. Do It Now
6. You Can't Change the Past
7. Act Like a Scientist
8. Work, Work, Work and Practice, Practice, Practice
9. Push Yourself
10. Do and Feel
11. There's No Gain Without Pain
12. Accept and Forgive Yourself Unconditionally
13. Live for Now and for the Future
14. Commit Yourself
15. Take Risks
16. Be Interested in Yourself and in Others
17. Remain Flexible
18. Use It Or Lose It
19. Accept Uncertainty
20. Don't Expect Heaven on Earth
- Albert Ellis and Emmett Verlten,
Optimal Aging: Get Over Getting Older,
1998. Aging Well
Seven Strategies for Positive Aging
1. You can find
meaning in old age.
2. You're never to old to learn.
3. You can use the past to cultivate wisdom.
4. You can strengthen life-span relationships.
5. You can promote growth through giving and receiving help.
6. You can forgive yourself and others.
7. You can possess a grateful attitude.
- Robert T. Hill,
Seven Strategies for Positive Aging,
2008. Aging Well
Seven
Perennial Spiritual Practices:
"1. Transform your motivation: reduce craving
and find your soul's desire.
2. Cultivate emotional wisdom: heal your heart and learn to love.
3. Live ethically: feel good by doing good.
4. Concentrate and calm your mind.
5. Awaken your spiritual vision: see clearly and recognize the sacred in all
things.
6. Cultivate spiritual intelligence: develop wisdom and understand life.
7. Express spirit in action: embrace generosity and the joy of service."
- Roger Walsh,
Essential Spirituality: The 7 Central
Practices to Awaken Heart and Mind, 1999
Cloud Hands Blog
Virtues and a Good Life
Epicureanism
Fitness and Well Being
Aging Well and Values
The Ten Paramitas of Buddhism
Dharmapada Sutra
of the Buddha
Tao Te Ching by
Lao Tzu
Stoicism
Green Way Research Subject Index
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
The Essence
of the Ten Transformative Practices
"Generosity
arises from unselfishness and nonattachment.
Ethics involves virtue, integrity, and self-discipline.
Patience requires resilience, acceptance, and fortitude.
Effort means courage in joyous perseverance.
Meditation implies mindfulness, concentration, reflection, and
introspection.
Transcendental wisdom includes discernment and self-knowledge.
Skillful means arise from resourcefulness and imagination.
Spiritual aspirations include noble intention and resolve.
Higher accomplishments require leadership, powers, and positive
influence.
Awakened awareness means pristine realization.
These are the ten arms and legs of the radiant body of the Bodhisattva,
Whose heart is Bodhicitta, selfless love and compassion."
- Lama Surya Das,
Buddha Is as Buddha Does: The Ten Original Practices for Enlightened Living,
2007.
Twelve
Gateways to Personal Growth
"1. Preparation: Stairway to the Soul
2. Discover Your Worth: Opening to Life
3. Reclaim Your Will: The Power to Change
4. Energize Your Body: A Foundation for Life
5. Manage Your Money: Sufficiency and Spiritual Practice
6. Tame Your Mind: Inner Peace and Simple Reality
7. Trust Your Intuition: Accessing Inner Guidance
8. Accept Your Emotions: The Center of the Cyclone
9. Face Your Fears: Living as Peaceful Warriors
10. Illuminate Your Shadow: Cultivating Compassion and Authenticity
11. Embrace Your Sexuality: Celebrating Life
12. Awaken Your Heart: The Healing Power of Love
13. Serve Your World: Completing the Circle of Life"
- Dan Millman,
Everyday Enlightenment: The Twelve Gateways
to Personal Growth, 1999.
The Ten Emotions of Power
"1. Love and Warmth
2. Appreciation and Gratitude
3. Curiosity
4. Excitement and Passion
5. Determination
6. Flexibility
7. Confidence
8. Cheerfulness
9. Vitality
10. Contribution"
- Anthony Robbins,
Awaken the Giant Within, 1991.
Reverse Your
Biological Age By:
"1. Changing your
perceptions.
2. Deep rest, restful awareness,
and restful sleep.
3. Lovingly nurturing you body through
healthy food.
4. Using nutritional complements
wisely.
5. Enhancing mind/body
integration: breathing exercises, yoga, tai chi, qigong, aikido, etc..
6. Exercise: strength and aerobic
conditioning.
7. Eliminating toxins from you
life.
8. Cultivating flexibility and
creativity in consciousness.
9. Love and loving
relationships.
10. Maintaining a youthful mind."
- Deepak Chopra and David
Simon, Grow Younger, Live Longer: Ten Steps
to Reverse Aging, 2001.
Nine Pagan Virtues
"1. Wisdom -
Good judgment, the ability to perceive people and situations correctly,
deliberate about and decide on the correct response.
2. Piety -
Correct observance of ritual and social traditions; the maintenance of the
agreements (both personal and societal),
we humans have with the Gods and Spirits. Keep the Old Ways, through
ceremony and duty.
3. Vision -
The ability to broaden one's perspective to have a greater understanding of our
place and role in the cosmos,
relating to the past, present and future.
4. Courage -
The ability to act appropriately in the face of danger.
5. Integrity -
Honor; being trustworthy to oneself and to others, involving oath-keeping,
honesty, fairness, respect, self-confidence.
6. Perseverance -
Drive; the motivation to pursue goals even when that pursuit becomes difficult.
7. Hospitality -
Acting as both a gracious host and an appreciative guest, involving benevolence,
friendliness, humor, and the
honoring of "a gift for a gift."
8. Moderation -
Cultivating one's appetites so that one is neither a slave to them nor driven to
ill health (mental or physical),
through excess or deficiency.
9. Fertility -
Bounty of mind, body and spirit, involving creativity, production of objects,
food, works of art, etc., an
appreciation of the physical, sensual and nurturing."
- The Ar nDraíocht Feín Dedicant Program, 2005.
Cloud Hands Blog
Virtues and a Good Life
Epicureanism
Fitness and Well Being
Aging Well and Values
The Ten Paramitas of Buddhism
Dharmapada Sutra
of the Buddha
Tao Te Ching by
Lao Tzu
Stoicism
Green Way
Research Subject Index
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Confucian Virtues
"Li: Propriety, reverence,
courtesy, ritual or the ideal standard of conduct.
Jen: Goodness, benevolence; recognition of value and concern for others,
no matter their rank or class.
Chun-Tzu: The idea of the true gentleman who lives according to the
highest ethical standards.
The gentleman displays five virtues: self-respect, generosity, sincerity,
persistence, and benevolence."
- Confucius (550-479 BCE),
The Analects
Strive Conscientiously To
1. Increase our objectivity and eliminate confusing
facts and inferences
2. Break any habit with which we habitually put ourselves at risk
3. Get rid of agendas that conflict with our higher priorities
4. Replace self-defeating demands and damnation with realistic preferences and
appraisals
5. Accept ourselves and others as the fallible human beings we actually are."
- Albert Ellis and Robert Harper,
A Guide to Rational Living, 1961.
The Twelve Principles of Natural Liberation
"1. All forms are interconnected, constantly change, and continuously
arise from and return to primordial Source.
2. Commit yourself completely to liberation in this lifetime.
3. Relax and surrender to life.
4. Remain in now.
5. Cultivate union with universal energy.
6. Go with the universal flow.
7. Rest in the radiance of your open heart.
8. Active compassion arises naturally out of unconditioned love.
9. Cutting through to clarity, luminosity, and spaciousness.
10. Return to Source.
11. Pure Source awareness is - remain in recognition.
12. Serve as a warrior of the open heart and liberated spirit."
- John P. Milton,
Sky Above, Earth Below, 2006
The Four Classic Western Cardinal
Virtues
"1. Temperance: moderation, self-control,
mindful, purity, disciplined.
2. Prudence: wise, intelligent, knowledgeable, insightful, forward
thinking, sagacious, sound judgment.
3. Courage: fortitude, endurance, composure, determination, will,
overcoming adversity.
4. Justice: fairness, principled, harmony, equality, utility, rule of law."
- Plato (c 340 BCE),
Republic
How To Live
Don't Worry About Death
Pay Attention
Be Born
Read at lot, forget most of what you read, and be slow-witted
Survive love and loss
Use little tricks
Question Everything
Keep a private room behind the shop
Be convivial: live with others
Wake from the sleep of habit
Live temperately
Guard your humanity
Do something no one has done before
See the world
Do a good job, but not too good a job
Philosophize only by accident
Reflect on everything; regret nothing
Give up control
Be ordinary and imperfect
Let life be its own answer
- Summary of some of the views of
Michel de Montaigne
(1533-1592) by Sarah Bakewell in
How to Live: Or A Life of Montaigne in One Question and Twenty Attempts at an Answer,
2010.
Six Virtues of Positive Psychology
"The introduction of the
Character Strengths and Virtues (CSV) Handbook suggests that these six virtues are considered good by the vast majority
of cultures and throughout history and that these traits lead to increased
happiness when practiced. Notwithstanding numerous cautions and caveats, this
suggestion of universality hints that in addition to trying to broaden the scope
of psychological research to include mental wellness, the leaders of the
positive psychology movement are challenging
moral relativism and suggesting that we are "evolutionarily predisposed"
toward certain virtues, that virtue has a biological basis." -
Positive Psychology
The organization of these virtues and strengths
is as follows:
Wisdom and Knowledge:
creativity,
curiosity, open-mindedness,
love of learning,
perspective,
innovation
Courage:
bravery, persistence,
integrity,
vitality
Humanity:
love,
kindness,
social intelligence
Justice:
citizenship, fairness,
leadership
Temperance:
forgiveness and
mercy,
humility,
prudence,
self control
Transcendence:
appreciation of beauty and
excellence,
gratitude,
hope,
humor,
spirituality"
The Ten Grave Precepts
"1. Affirm life; Do not kill.
2. Be giving; Do not steal.
3. Honor the body; Do not misuse sexuality.
4. Manifest truth; Do not lie.
5. Proceed clearly; Do not cloud the mind.
6. See the perfection; Do not speak of others errors and faults.
7. Realize self and other as one; Do not elevate the self and blame others.
8. Give generously; do not be withholding.
9. Actualize harmony; Do not be angry.
10. Experience the intimacy of things; Do not defile the Eight Treasures."
- John Daido Loori,
The Eight Gates of Zen, 2002.
The Five Precepts of Mahayana Buddhism
Ten Positive Energy Prescriptions
"1. Awaken intuition and rejuvenate
yourself.
2. Find a nurturing spiritual path.
3. Design an energy-aware approach to diet, fitness and health.
4. Generate positive emotional energy to counter negativity.
5. Develop a heart-centered sexuality.
6. Open yourself to the flow of inspiration and creativity.
7. Celebrate the sacredness of laughter, pampering, and the replenishment
of retreat.
8. Attract positive people and situations.
9. Protect yourself from energy vampires.
10. Create abundance."
- Judith Orloff,
Positive Energy, 2004.
How to Make
the Most of Your Life: 50 Wise Tips
Characteristics of Wise People
1. Cultivated
2. Compassionate
3. Good Listeners
4. Nonconformists
5. Open-minded
6. Problem-centered
7. Reflective
8. Humorous
9. Unselfish
10. Willing
- Jordi Alemany,
10 Common Characteristics of Wise People, 2016
Buddha's Charter of Free Inquiry
“Do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing;
nor upon tradition;
nor upon rumor;
nor upon what is in a scripture:
nor upon surmise;
nor upon an axiom;
nor upon specious reasoning;
nor upon a bias towards a notion that has been pondered over:
nor upon another’s seeming ability;
nor upon the consideration, “The monk is our teacher.”
When you yourselves know:
“These things are good; these things are not blamable;
these things are praised by the wise; undertaken and observed,
these things lead to benefit and happiness,” enter on and abide in them.”"
- Gautama Buddha
Kalama Sutta, The Buddha’s Charter of Free Inquiry
Translated by Soma Thera (The Wheel Publication, No. 8),
Buddhist Publication Society, 1987
Cloud Hands Blog
Virtues and a Good Life
Epicureanism
Fitness and Well Being
Aging Well and Values
The Ten Paramitas of Buddhism
Dharmapada Sutra
of the Buddha
Tao Te Ching by
Lao Tzu
Stoicism
Green
Way Research Subject Index
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
18 Rules for Living
- "Take into account that great love and great achievements involve
great risk.
- When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
- Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others,
Responsibility for all your actions.
- Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful
stroke of luck.
- Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
- When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to
correct it.
- Spend some time alone every day.
- Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
- Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
- Live a good and honorable life. Then when you get older and think
back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
- A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
- In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current
situation. Don’t bring up the past.
- Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
- Be gentle with the earth.
- Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
- Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for
each other exceeds your need for each other.
- Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it."
- Attributed to the
Dalai Lama, probably
erroneously, and more likely borrowed from:
H. Jackson Brown Jr.,
Life's Little Instruction Book: 511 Suggestions, Observations, and
Reminders on How to Live a Happy and Rewarding Life, 2000.
A Twelve-Point Program for Healthy
Aging
"1. Eat an anti-inflammatory diet.
2. Use dietary supplements wisely to support the body's defenses and
natural healing power.
3. Use preventive medicine intelligently: know your risks of age-related
disease, get appropriate diagnostic and screening
tests and immunizations, and treat problems (like elevated blood pressure and
cholesterol) in their early stages.
4. Get regular physical activity throughout life.
5. Get adequate rest and sleep.
6. Learn and practice methods of stress protection.
7. Exercise your mind as well as your body.
8. Maintain social and intellectual connections as you go through life.
9. Be flexible in mind and body: learn to adapt to losses and let go of
behaviors no longer appropriate for your age.
10. Think about and try to discover for yourself the benefits of aging.
11. Do not deny the reality of aging or put energy into trying to stop it.
Use the experience of aging as a stimulus
for spiritual awakening and growth.
12. Keep an ongoing record of the lessons you learn, the wisdom you gain,
and the values you hold. At critical points in
your life, read this over, add to it, revise it, and share it with people you
care about."
- Andrew Weil,
Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Physical
and Spiritual Well-Being, 2005.
Process of the Good Life
"1. A growing openness to experience – they move away
from defensiveness and have no need for subception (a perceptual defense that
involves unconsciously applying strategies to prevent a troubling stimulus from
entering consciousness).
2. An increasingly existential lifestyle – living
each moment fully – not distorting the moment to fit personality or self-concept
but allowing personality and self-concept to emanate from the experience.
This results in excitement, daring, adaptability, tolerance, spontaneity, and a
lack of rigidity and suggests a foundation of trust. To open one's spirit
to what is going on now, and discover in that present process whatever structure
it appears to have.
3. Increasing organismic trust – they trust their own
judgment and their ability to choose behavior that is appropriate for each
moment. They do not rely on existing codes and social norms but trust that
as they are open to experiences they will be able to trust their own sense of
right and wrong.
4. Freedom of choice – not being shackled by the
restrictions that influence an incongruent individual, they are able to make a
wider range of choices more fluently. They believe that they play a role in
determining their own behavior and so feel responsible for their own behavior.
5. Creativity – it follows that they will feel more
free to be creative. They will also be more creative in the way they adapt
to their own circumstances without feeling a need to conform.
6. Reliability and constructiveness – they can be
trusted to act constructively. An individual who is open to all their
needs will be able to maintain a balance between them. Even aggressive
needs will be matched and balanced by intrinsic goodness in congruent
individuals.
7. A rich full life – the life of the fully functioning
individual as rich, full and exciting and suggests that they experience joy and
pain, love and heartbreak, fear and courage more intensely. Rogers'
description of the good life: "This process of the good life is not, I am
convinced, a life for the faint-hearted. It involves the stretching and
growing of becoming more and more of one's potentialities. It involves the
courage to be. It means launching oneself fully into the stream of life."
- Carl Rogers (1902-1987),
On Becoming a Person,
Biography
Eight Elements West
"1. Consistent Exercise: Energize through safe, results-oriented
exercise.
2. Body Alignment: Promote proper posture, spinal strength with
flexibility, and body awareness.
3. Natural Nutrition: Implement sound eating practices for life.
4. Sound Mind: Embrace life obstacles with self-awareness, reflection,
imagination and creativity.
5. Relaxation and Centering: Cultivate and calm the body-mind connection
everyday.
6. Community and Environment: Surround yourself with trusted friends and
family. Be kind to the Earth.
7. Individual Action: Time is precious. Let change begin now, with you.
8. Heart of the Human Spirit: Transform life through your heart, where
true strength resides."
- Eight
Elements West, 2005
Cultivating a Positive Mindset
"Think in a calm, pacified, and reflective manner instead of being disturbed,
agitated, and impulsive in one's reactions.
Put ideas together rationally and arrive at the right judgment even in the
absence of obvious evidence or proof.
Decide, plan, and execute a course of action in a patient, persistent, and
disciplined manner.
Recognize the changes and be flexible in adapting to them.
Observe and perceive things with a sense of humor instead of outrage,
indignation, and anger.
Let go of useless and counterproductive thoughts, desires, and ambitions instead
of being preoccupied with them.
Relax and meditate or rest.
Resist temptation and coercion."
- Michael Fekete,
Strength Training for Seniors,
2006.
Some Guiding Principles for Integral Practices and
Institutions That Support Them:
"1. They promote a simultaneous development of our various faculties.
2. They generally require mentors, rather than a single guru.
3. They require a strong and developing autonomy.
4. They are facilitated by personal traits that promote creativity in
general.
5. Though they encourage individual autonomy, they require surrender at
times to transformative agencies beyond ordinary functioning.
6. They require patience and the love of practice for its own sake.
7. They utilize inherited all-at-once responses, or psychosomatic
compliance for high-level change.
8. They utilize the manifold changes catalyzed by images and altered
states.
9. They enlist more that one mediation to achieve particular outcomes.
10. They surpass limits by negotiation rather than force.
11. They depend upon improvisation.
12. They utilized images of unity.
13. They require and facilitate conscious transitions between different
states of consciousness.
14. They depend on a developing awareness that transcends psychological
and somatic functioning.
15. They orient all our capacities and somatic processes toward the
extraordinary life arising in us."
- Michael Murphy,
The Future of the Body: Explorations Into the Further
Evolution of Human Nature, 1992.
The Song of Ch'an Tao Chia
The Twenty Seven Precepts of Taoism
"Have compassion for
all sentient beings causing them no unnecessary hurt nor needless harm.
Refrain from needless competitiveness, from contriving for self-advantage and
from subjugating others.
When accepting authority over others know also that you accept responsibility
for their wellbeing.
Value true friendship and fulfill your obligations rather than striving with
egotistical motive.
Seek liberation from the negative passions of hatred, envy, greed and rage, and
especially from delusion, deceit and sensory desire.
Learn to let go of that which cannot be owned or which is destroyed by grasping.
Seek the courage to be; defend yourself and your convictions.
Accept transience, the inevitable and the irrevocable.
Know that change exists in everything.
Negate the barriers to your awakening. Discover the positive in the negative and
seek a meaningful purpose in what you do.
Be just and honorable. Take pride in what you do rather than being proud of what
you have accomplished.
Having humility and respect, give thanks to those from whom you learn or who
have otherwise helped you.
Act in harmony with your fellow beings, with nature and with inanimate objects.
Know that a thing or an action which may seem of little value to oneself may be
a priceless treasure to another.
Help those who are suffering or disadvantaged and as you yourself become
awakened help those who seek to make real their own potential.
Know that there is no shame in questioning.
Be diligent in your practice and on hearing the music of the absolute do not be
so foolish as to try to sing its song.
Remember to renew the source in order to retain good health.
Seek neither brilliance nor the void; just think deeply and work hard.
When still, be as the mountain. When in movement be as the dragon riding the
wind. Be aware at all times like the tiger, which only seems to sleep and at all
times let the mind be like running water.
When you are required to act remember that right motive is essential to right
action, just as right thought is essential to right words.
Beware of creating burdens for yourself or others to carry.
Act with necessary distinction being both creative and receptive and
transcending subject/object dichotomy.
Know that you are not the center of the universe but learn to put the universe
at your center by accepting the instant of your being.
Seek security within yourself rather than in others.
Know that even great worldly wealth and the accumulation of material things are
of little worth compared with the priceless treasures: love, peace and the
freedom to grow.
Allow yourself to be so that your life may become a time of blossoming."
- Stan Rosenthal,
(Shi-tien Roshi) of the British School of Zen Taoism,
The Song of Ch'an Tao Chia: The Twenty Seven Precepts of Taoism
Translation of the
Tao Te Ching by Stan Rosenthal
Primary Spiritual Traits
"Honesty
Tolerance
Gentleness
Joy
Defenselessness
Generosity
Patience
Open-Mindedness"
- Lee Jampolsky,
Walking Through Walls: Practical Spirituality for
an Impractical World, 2005
Elementary School Students Values Education
At the Maywood Middle
School where I work part-time in the library, serving public school students in
the 6th to 8th grades, ages 11 to 14, we try our best to create a safe, positive
and productive educational environment. We have signs, posters, and use daily
verbal reminders about the kind of social and learning environment we want
students to create and support.
I
read with interest a few
years ago about Fundamentalist Baptist Christians in Southern U.S. States that
were pushing to have the Hebrew (Jewish) Ten Commandments of Moses placed on posters in every
public elementary school classroom. I seriously doubt that telling a third grade student
not to commit adultery, not to covet their neighbor’s wife or property, not to
kill, and to worship only the Hebrew deity is very meaningful or relevant
to them, or beneficial in improving classroom behaviors.
In our public school, we emphasize core values every day: Responsibility, Integrity,
Safety and Courtesy.
Here are examples
from three posters in our library and classrooms:
Self Respect
S Set Goals
E Exercise
L Love Yourself
F Focus on Fitness
R Rest and Relax
E Eat Right
S Smile
P Portray the Positive
E Enjoy Life
C Care for Others
T Tell Yourself “You Can Do This”
Good People Skills
Smile
Use Good Manners
Acknowledge Others
Use Greetings
Use People’s Names
Look at People When Talking
Listen
Accept Differences
Respect the Opinions of Others
Give Compliments
Seven Precepts of Merlin:
"First: Labor Diligently to acquire knowledge, for it is power.
Second: When in authority, decide reasonably, for thine authority may cease.
Third: Bear with fortitude the ills of life, remembering that no mortal sorrow
is perpetual.
Fourth: Love virtue - for it bringeth peace.
Fifth: Abhor vice - for it bringeth evil upon all.
Sixth: Obey those in authority in all just things, that virtue may be exalted.
Seventh: Cultivate the social virtues, so shalt thou be beloved by all men.
The motto of the Druids the world over is “United to Assist.”
The aim of the Druids is Unity, Peace and Concord.”"
- Isaac Bonewits,
Essential Guide to Druidism,
2006.
Desiderata
By Max Ehrmann
1952
“Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy. ”
- Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, 1927.
Max
Ehrmann (1872–1945), a poet and lawyer from Terre Haute, Indiana.
Cloud Hands Blog
Virtues and a Good Life
Epicureanism
Fitness and Well Being
Aging Well and Values
The Ten Paramitas of Buddhism
Dharmapada Sutra
of the Buddha
Tao Te Ching by
Lao Tzu
Stoicism
Green
Way Research Subject Index
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Ten Principles for Living
"1. Never obey
anyone's command unless it is coming from within you also.
2. There is no God other than life itself.
3. Truth is within you, do not search for it elsewhere.
4. Love is prayer.
5. To become a nothingness is the door to truth. Nothingness
itself is the means, the goal and attainment.
6. Life is now and here.
7. Live wakefully.
8. Do not swim – float.
9. Die each moment so that you can be new each moment.
10. Do not search. That which is, is. Stop and see."
- Osho (Acharya Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh),
Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously
Seven Fundamentals
1. Set goals.
2. A detailed management plan for your present resources.
3. Have a detailed plan for the use of your time.
4. A consistent plan for the gathering of knowledge.
5. Constant association with people who have a common interest in
progress, success, ideas, and philosophy.
6. A consistent plan for developing all your skills.
7. A consistent plan for figuring ways to live uniquely.
- Jim Rohn,
Seven Fundamentals for Wealth and Happiness,
Book, 1996
Ten Golden
Rules for Living the Good Life
“1.
Examine life, engage life with vengeance; always search for new pleasures and
new destines to reach with your mind.
2. Worry only about the things that are in your control,
the things that
can be influenced and changed by your actions, not about the things that are
beyond your capacity to direct or alter.
3. Treasure Friendship, the reciprocal attachment that fills the need for
affiliation. Friendship cannot be acquired in the market place, but must be
nurtured and treasured in relations imbued with trust and amity.
4. Experience True Pleasure.
Avoid shallow
and transient pleasures. Keep your life simple. Seek calming pleasures that
contribute to peace of mind. True pleasure is disciplined and restrained.
5. Master Yourself. Resist any external force that might delimit thought and
action; stop deceiving yourself, believing only what is personally useful and
convenient; complete liberty necessitates a struggle within, a battle to subdue
negative psychological and spiritual forces that preclude a healthy existence;
self mastery requires ruthless cador.
6. Avoid Excess. Live life in harmony and balance. Avoid excesses. Even good
things, pursued or attained without moderation, can become a source of misery
and suffering.
7. Be a Responsible Human Being.
Approach
yourself with honesty and thoroughness; maintain a kind of spiritual hygiene;
stop the blame-shifting for your errors and shortcomings.
8. Don’t Be a Prosperous Fool. Prosperity by itself, is not a cure-all against
an ill-led life, and may be a source of dangerous foolishness. Money is a
necessary but not a sufficient condition for the good life, for happiness and
wisdom.
9. Don’t Do Evil to Others. Evildoing is a dangerous habit, a kind of reflex
too quickly resorted to and too easily justified that has a lasting and damaging
effect upon the quest for the good life. Harming others claims two victims—the
receiver of the harm, and the victimizer, the one who does harm.
10. Kindness towards others tends to be rewarded.
Kindness to others is a good habit that supports and reinforces the quest for
the good life. Helping others bestows a sense of satisfaction that has two
beneficiaries—the beneficiary, the receiver of the help, and the benefactor, the
one who provides the help.”
- By M. A.
Soupious and Panos Mourdoukoutas,
The Ten Golden Rules: Ancient Wisdom from the Greek
Philosophers on Living the Good Life, 2009.
Serenity Prayer
"Give me the serenity to accept
the things that cannot be changed,
the courage to change the things
which can be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish
one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting hardship as a pathway to peace."
- Reinhold Niebuhr, Serenity Prayer
Version, 1937
"For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it."
- Mother Goose Rhyme, 1695
The Alphabet of Spiritual
Literacy
A Attention
B Beauty, Being Present
C Compassion, Connections
D Devotion
E Enthusiasm
F Faith, Forgiveness
G Grace, Gratitude
H Hope, Hospitality
I Imagination
J Joy, Justice
K Kindness
L Listening, Love
M Meaning
N Nurturing
O Openness
P Peace, Play
Q Questing
R Reverence
S Shadow, Silence
T Teachers, Transformation
U Unity
V Vision
W Wonder
X The Mystery
Y Yearning, You
Z Zeal
- Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat,
Spiritual Literacy: Reading the Sacred in Everyday Life,
1996.
Principles for Living in Balance
"1. Attitude
2. Accountability
3. Commitment
4. Supportive Relationships
5. Service
6. Personal Mastery
7. Faith"
- Joel Levey and Michele Levey,
Living in
Balance, 2014
Ten Worthy Goals
1. Mellowness of mind
2. A healthy, balanced life
3. An unobstructed, undefeated spirit
4. Loving people and rendering service
5. Unifying the body and mind
6. The rich emotion of enjoying simple relationships and things
7. Frequent self-examination of one's personal and public life
8. Avoidance of obsession or extravagance
9. Humility
10. Constantly collecting the floating emotions that take you out of your
center
- Hua-Ching Ni,
The Gentle Path of Spiritual
Progress, 1990.
The Ten American Indian
Commandments
"Remain close to the
Great Spirit.
Show great respect for your fellow beings.
Give assistance and kindness wherever needed.
Be truthful and honest at all times.
Do what you know to be right.
Look after the well-being of mind and body.
Treat the Earth and all the dwell thereon with respect.
Take full responsibility for your actions.
Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good.
Work together for the benefit of all mankind."
-
Poster of the Ten American Indian Commandments, 2000
Seven Keys to Health and Happiness
"Practice Silence - Wisdom is a state of emptiness, listening, and
attentiveness.
Learn from Nature - Every tree, every animal, every stone has a lesson
to teach.
Find and Honor Your Life Purpose - Your purpose is a gift from the
Great Spirit.
Respect Your Ancestors and Ancestry - All people have indigenous roots,
and no culture has a monopoly on wisdom.
Maintain Emotional Balance - Keep your emotions calm and cultivate humor
Eat According to Your Genes - Follow the diet of our
hunter-gatherer ancestors.
Get Plenty of Exercise - Stand and move with dignity, and breathe slowly."
- Ken Cohen,
Native Wisdom: Seven Keys to Health and Happiness, 2003.
Cloud Hands Blog
Virtues and a Good Life
Epicureanism
Fitness and Well Being
Aging Well and Values
The Ten Paramitas of Buddhism
Dharmapada Sutra
of the Buddha
Tao Te Ching by
Lao Tzu
Stoicism
Green Way Research Subject Index
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Ground Rules for
Living
"1. Be Positive.
2. Accept Yourself.
3. Let Go.
4. Express Your Love.
5. Accept Full Responsibility for Your Life.
6. Forgive Yourself.
7. Handle What Does Not Work.
8. Let Go of Resentment.
9. Don't Overspend.
10. Find a Dream to Go For.
11. Serve. Have Your Life Be More Than You.
12. Experience Your Spirituality."
- Bill Ferguson,
Mastery of Life,
2006
Discourse on Happiness
"Not
to be associated with the foolish ones,
to live in the company of wise people,
honoring those who are worth honoring –
this is the greatest happiness.
"To live in
a good environment,
to have planted good seeds,
and to realize that you are on the right path –
this is the greatest happiness.
To have a
chance to learn and grow,
to be skillful in your profession or craft,
practicing the percepts and loving speech –
this is the greatest happiness.
To be
able to serve and support your parents,
to cherish your own family,
to have a vocation that brings you joy –
this is the greatest happiness.
To live
honestly, generous in giving,
to offer support to relatives and friends,
living a life of blameless conduct –
this is the greatest happiness.
To avoid
unwholesome actions,
not caught by alcoholism or drugs,
and to be diligent in doing good things –
this is the greatest happiness.
To be humble
and polite in manner,
to be grateful and content with a simple life,
not missing the occasion to learn the Dharma –
this is the greatest happiness.
To
persevere and be open to change,
to have regular contact with monks and nuns,
and to fully participate in Dharma discussions –
this is the greatest happiness.
To live in
the world
with your heart undisturbed by the world,
with all sorrows ended, dwelling in peace –
this is the greatest happiness.
For he or
she who accomplishes this,
unvanquished wherever she goes,
always he is safe and happy –
happiness lives within oneself."
- The
Buddha, Mahamangala Sutta,
Sutta Nipata, 2.4
Found in
Chanting from the Heart, by Thich Nhat Hahn,
2002, p.
270
Seven Core
Values
"1. The inherent worth and dignity of every person.
2. Justice, equity and compassion in human relations.
3. Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth
in our congregations.
4. A free and responsible search for truth and meaning.
5. The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process
within our congregations and in society at large.
6. The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for
all.
7. Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we
are a part."
-
Unitarian Universalist
Seven Principles
The Ten Commandments of Health
"East Wisely
Drink Plentifully of Water
Eliminate Thoroughly
Bathe Cleanly
Exercise Rationally
Accept Inevitables (Don't Worry)
Play Enthusiastically
Relax Completely
Sleep Sufficiently
Check Up Occasionally
Give 5% of your time to keeping well.
You won't have to give 100% to getting over being sick."
- George W. Claver, M.D.
Physician to the U.S. Congress in 1928
Five Ways to Be Real
Through the Practice of Dzogchen
"1.
Naturalness and Simplicity
Rely on the natural state. Be yourself, your true unaltered self.
Everything we need is within
the natural mind - innately whole and complete. So relax.
2. Authenticity, Non-contrivance,
Non-fabrication
There is nirvanic peace in things left just as they are. Striving and
struggle is extra. Leave
it as it is and rest the weary heart and mind. See through everything, be
through everything;
and remain free, luminous and complete.
3. Openness and Oneness
Stay open-minded and inclusive. Pure presence is a state of nonjudgmental,
non-interfering
choiceless awareness or panoramic attention to the "is-ness" and "now-ness" of
all things.
Be open to your experience. Let go and let things fall into place as they
will. Perhaps
wherever they fall is the right
place.
4. Awareness and Wisdom
Present awareness knows and sees what is, as it is. Innate wakefulness is
wise and effective
in its own brand of insight and discernment combined with uncommon common sense.
5. Spontaneous Energy Flow
With freedom and decontraction, inexhaustible uninhibited energy is released,
surging forth,
bubbling up from within. When we let go and loosen our tight-fisted
grasping, or repetitive
holding patterns, we are buoyed up and become one with the flow. This is
the natural flow,
the sacred zone masters describe. You can access it at will."
- Lama Surya Das,
Awakening to the
Sacred, 1999.
Characteristics of the More Fully-Functioning Individual
"Nonconformity and Individuality
Self-Awareness
Acceptance of Ambiguity and Uncertainty
Tolerance
Acceptance of Human Animality
Commitment and Intrinsic Enjoyment
Creativity and Originality
Social Interest and Ethical Trust
Enlightened Self-Interest
Self-Direction
Flexibility and Scientific Outlook
Unconditional Self-Acceptance
Risk-Taking and Experimenting
Long-Range Hedonism
Work and Practice"
- Albert Ellis,
The Albert Ellis Reader,
1998.
Noble Eightfold Path of the Buddha
"I will attempt to live my life moving toward:
1. A balanced wholeness of perspective that centers around the idea of
achieving a complete experience of life. [Right Views]
2. A balanced wholeness of resolve in which I deliberately move away from
what is toxic and move toward that which is nourishing. [Right Intentions]
3. A balanced wholeness of the manner, content, and intent of my speech.
[Right Speech]
4. A balanced wholeness of life-affirming moral conduct. [Right Action]
5. A balanced wholeness of a profession that affirms life and does not
obstruct or negate it. [Right Livelihood]
6. A balanced wholeness of life-affirming spiritual activity.
[Right Efforts]
7. A balanced wholeness of mindful awareness and alertness as tools for
profound living. [Right Mindfulness]
8. A balanced wholeness of concentrated bodymind skills as tools for fully
awakening my Buddha Nature. [Right Concentration]"
-
The "balanced wholeness" version is from the Venerable Reverend John Bright-Fey,
The
Whole Heart of Zen: The Complete Teachings from the Oral Tradition of Ta-Mo,
p. 254.
The [short version] is a rather standard formulation of Siddhartha
Buddha's Noble Eightfold Path
Four Principles for a Successful Life
"1. The practice of giving love without expectations.
2. To seeking true knowledge of ourselves and of the meaning of existence.
3. Practicing reflection to understand the mistakes we made in life and to
release ourselves from attachment that causes suffering.
4. To develop ourselves so that we can help guide others and to become useful in
the world - to, ultimately, evolve spiritually."
- Ryuho Okawa,
The Laws of Happiness, 2004
Cloud Hands Blog
Virtues and a Good Life
Epicureanism
Fitness and Well Being
Aging Well and Values
The Ten Paramitas of Buddhism
Dharmapada Sutra
of the Buddha
Tao Te Ching by
Lao Tzu
Stoicism
Green
Way Research Subject Index
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Nine Heart Paths to Healing and Abundance
Joy
Self-Control
Generosity
Peace
Faithfulness
Patience
Kindness
Gentleness
Love
- Karen Speerstra,
Sophia: The Feminine Face of God: Nine Heart Paths to Healing and Abundance,
2011
Tips
for Living a Good Life
"Approve of yourself
Your limitations may just be in your mind
Lighten up and have some fun
Let go of anger
Release yourself from entitlement
If you are taking a different path, prepare for reactions
Keep your focus steadily on what you want
Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good
Do what you want to do"
- From Mark Twain, summarized by Henrick
Edberg,
The
Positivity Blog
Thirteen Necessary or Desirable Virtues
"1. Temperance. Eat not to dullness; drink not
to elevation.
2. Silence. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself;
avoid trifling conversation.
3. Order. Let all your things have their places; let each part
of your business have its time.
4. Resolution. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform
without fail what you resolve.
5. Frugality. Make no expense but to do good to others or
yourself; waste nothing.
6. Industry. Lose no time; be always employed in something
useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. Sincerity. Use not hurtful deceit; think innocently and
justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. Justice. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the
benefits that are your duty.
9. Moderation. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so
much as you think they deserve.
10. Cleanliness. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or
habitation.
11. Tranquility. Be not disturbed by trifles, or at accidents
common or unavoidable.
12. Chastity. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring;
never to dullness, weakness, or injury of your own or another's peace or
reputation.
13. Humility. Imitate Jesus and Socrates."
- Benjamin Franklin, Autobiography 1771-1784
From
The Portable Enlightenment Reader, edited by Isaac
Kramnick, 1995, p.484
Ten Basic Epicurean Values
1)
Prudence
2) Self-management
3) Self-sufficiency
4) Serenity
5) Simplicity
6) Friendliness
7) Honesty
8) Generosity
9) Cheerfulness
10) Gentleness
-
Epicurus, 341-270 BCE,
Epicureanism
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
4. Think Win-Win
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the Saw - Continuous Improvement, Renewal, Readiness
- Stephen R. Covey,
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, 1989
Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
1. Living Consciously: The practice of being
aware of what one is doing while one is doing it; or, mindfulness.
2. Accept Yourself: The practice of owning truths regarding
one's thoughts, emotions, and behaviors; of being kind toward oneself with
respect to them;
and of being "for" oneself in a
basic sense.
3. Take Responsibility for Your Experiences: The practice of owning
one's authorship of one's actions and of owning one's capacity to be the
cause of
the effects one desires.
4. Assert Who You Are: the practice of treating one's needs and
interests with respect and of expressing them in appropriate ways.
5. Live Purposely: The practice of formulating goals and of
formulating and implementing action plans to achieve them.
6. Maintain Your Integrity: The practice of maintaining alignment
between one’s behaviors and convictions.
- Nathaniel Branden,
Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, 1995
Ten Rules for the Good Life
"1. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
2. Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
3. Never spend your money before you have it.
4. Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will never be dear to
you.
5. Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold.
6. Never repent of having eaten too little.
7. Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.
8. Don't let the evils which have never happened cost you pain.
9. Always take things by their smooth handle.
10. When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, count to one
hundred."
- Thomas Jefferson,
Ten Rules for the Good Life,
1790.
Nine Rules for Living the Good Life
Be Grateful.
Be Smart.
Be Involved.
Be Clean.
Be True.
Be Positive.
Be Humble.
Be Still.
Be Prayerful.
- Gordon B. Hinkley,
Way to Be!
Nine Ways to Be Happy,
2002.
Reaching a New Level of
Well-Being and Delight
"Move your awareness from Form to Energy
Explore realms of being outside your everyday experience
Break the grip of the ego
Honor the holy Self within
Accept a new life, free of worry and filled with joy
Keys: Love. Hope. Fulfillment. Security. Harmony. Freedom."
- John Randolf Price,
Living a Life of Joy
Principles for Purposeful Living
1. Unity
2. Self-Determination
3. Collective Work and Responsibility
4. Cooperative Economics
5. Purpose
6. Creativity
7. Faith
- Barbara Dixon,
Seven Principles for Purposeful
Living
Seven Pleasures
Dancing
Reading
Walking
Looking
Listening
Swimming
Writing
- Willard Spiegelman,
Seven Pleasures: Essays on Ordinary Happiness
Advice for Young People
"Young people need compassion and guidance,
not obscure mysticism.
Here are some guidelines for young people:
Remember that you are always your own person. Do not surrender your
mind, heart, or body to any person. Never compromise your dignity for
any reason.
Maintain your health with sound diet, hygiene, exercise, and clean
living. Don't engage in drugs or drinking.
Money is never more important that your body and mind, but you must
work and support yourself. Never depend on others for your livelihood.
Choose your friends and living situation carefully, for they will
influence you. Find a mentor you can trust, one who can answer your
every question, but never give up responsibility for your own life. No
one lives your life for you.
A good education is always an asset.
Emotions are transitory and are not a good way to make decisions.
Every day, you must make decisions. Everything you do will have
irrevocable effects upon your life. Before you go down any path,
consider carefully. Rivers very rarely reverse course.
Know evil, but do not do evil yourself. Remember, there is a way
out of the delusions of life. When you weary of the world, find someone
who will show you Tao."
- Deng Ming-Dao,
365 Tao: Daily Meditations,
1992
Five Keys to Mindful Loving
"Fear can be a warning to
be more cautious.
Desire allows you to open and
reach out to others.
Judgment fosters viewing a
situation with intelligence.
Control is needed to maintain some stability in your everyday
life.
Fantasy stimulates the
imagination and fosters creativity."
- David Richo,
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
The Calculus of
Felicity
Intensity: How powerful is the pleasure?
Duration: How long lasting is the pleasure?
Certainty: How guaranteed is the pleasure?
Proximity: How close is the pleasure?
Fecundity: Will this pleasurable activity generate additional
pleasures?
Purity: How pain-free is this particular pleasure?
Extent: How many other persons will experience this pleasure?
-
Jeremy Bentham,
1748-1832
Ways to Lift Your
Spirits, Boost Your Mood
Revitalize Yourself, Banish the Blues
Be grateful
for the good in your life.
Give yourself permission to be human.
Brighten someone’s day.
Learn something new.
Listen to upbeat music.
Do some exercise on a regular basis.
Simplify your life, remove clutter, and clean.
Go for a walk.
Enjoy sex and discover romance.
Get organized.
Do a good deed or volunteer.
Smile and put on a happy face.
Indulge your senses.
Seek and cultivate beauty.
Take time to breathe deeply.
Look at some old photos.
Focus on the positive.
Forgive yourself.
Get some fresh air.
Eat often and eat light.
Begin a program of meditation or contemplation.
Talk with your physician or counselor.
Cook and prepare a lovely and tasty meal.
Eat something nutritious like nuts or fruit.
Pamper yourself.
Alter your routines in some way.
Have confidence.
Talk with your spouse.
Fake it till you make it.
Sign a song out loud.
Tap into your creative side.
Take up a mind-body practice like Taijiquan, Qigong or Yoga.
Inhale a calming scent.
Sit quietly, rest, or sleep.
Brainstorm a problem for solutions.
Avoid bad or negative companions, and find good friends.
Watch a good non-violent movie.
Work in the garden.
Cool down strong emotions.
Take some vacation time for relaxation and retreat.
Look on the Bright Side.
Small steps of progress are better than no steps.
Avoid watching the news for a week.
Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Focus on past successes, not failures.
Create a wish list and make one wish come true.
Explore ways to boost your self-esteem.
Focus on what you can control and what you can change.
Get some more sunlight on your body.
Choose your attitude and how you will react to life's events.
Spend less, avoid shopping.
Punch a bag or bang on a drum.
Keep a journal or express yourself in writing.
Go easy on yourself and yield.
Count your blessings.
Take a long shower or refreshing soaking bath.
Get relevant and accurate information.
Chat with a friendly person or neighbor.
Things change and time heals.
Adapt, adapt, adapt.
Agree to disagree; you don’t need to win every argument.
Think fast.
Consider vitamin or herbal supplements that lift mood.
Seek professional help for serious mental health problems.
Read something inspiring.
Avoid comparing yourself to others, and envy is a waste of time.
Seek spiritual support or pray.
Evaluate and revise your goals.
Pet your dog or cat and care for them.
Get a massage.
Enjoy a non-competitive sport.
Try fasting or staying up all night.
Donate your stuff, your skills, or your time.
Forgive and forget.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Dance till you are tired.
Stop using any recreational drugs.
Spend some time with children.
Abandon false ideas and unrealistic aims.
Enjoy a refreshing drink.
Make someone laugh.
Allow yourself to be eccentric, and enjoy some silly thoughts.
Have a bowl of soup or a cup of tea.
Less talk and more doing.
Get up, dress up, and show up.
Observe nature carefully and respectfully.
Visit your public library and borrow some beautiful books.
Be less self-centered and selfish.
A spiritual advisor, rituals, or religious beliefs can sometimes help.
Love expands your horizons of caring and happiness.
Accept the fact that some things are broken and can't be fixed.
Memorize an inspirational saying, prayer, poem, or quote.
Call or visit a sick person.
- Michael P.
Garofalo,
Ways to Lift Your Spirits, 9/15/2011, 3 pages PDF format
Metta Sutra
"This is what should be done
By one who is killed in goodness,
And who knows the paths of peace:
Let them be able and upright,
Straightforward and gentle in speech.
Humble and not conceited,
Contented and easily satisfied.
Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.
Peaceful and calm and wise and skillful,
Not proud and demanding in nature.
Let them not do the slightest thing
That the wise would later reprove.
Wishing: In gladness and safety,
May all beings be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be,
Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,
The great or the mighty, medium, short or small,
The seen and the unseen,
Those living near and far away,
Those born and to-be born,
May all beings be at ease.
Let none deceive another,
Or despise any being in any state.
Let none through anger or ill will
Wish harm on another.
Even as a mother protects with her life
Her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Should one cherish all living beings;
Radiating kindness over the entire world
Spreading upwards to the skies,
And downwards to the depths;
Outwards and unbounded,
Free from hatred and ill will.
Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down
Free from drowsiness,
One should sustain this recollection.
This is said to be the sublime abiding,
By not holding to fixed views,
The pure hearted one, having clarity of vision,
Being freed from all sense desires,
Is not born again into this world."
- Traditional Buddhist Scripture, found in "Awakening to the
Sacred" by Lama Surya Das, 1999, p. 301
Alternate translations:
Ñanamoli | Amaravati | Piyadassi | Thanissaro
Tenets of Zen
1. The realities of the life are most
truly seen in everyday things and actions.
2. Everything exists according to its own nature. One individual
perceptions of worth, correctness,
beauty, size, and value exist inside our heads, not outside them.
3. Everything exists in relation to other things.
4. The self and the rest of the universe are not separate entities but one
functioning whole.
5. Man arises from nature and gets along most effectively by collaborating
with nature,
rather than by trying to master it.
6. There is no ego in the sense of an endlessly enduring, unchanging
private soul or personality that
temporarily inhabits the body.
7. True insight does not issue from specialized knowledge, from
membership in coteries, from doctrines
or dogmas. It comes from the preconscious
intuitions of one's whole being, from one's own code.
8. In emptiness, forms are born. When one becomes empty of the
assumptions, inferences, and
judgments he has acquired over the years, he
comes close to his original nature and is capable
of conceiving original ideas and reacting
freshly.
9. Being a spectator while one is also a participant spoils one's
performance.
10. Security and changelessness are fabricated by the ego-dominated mind
and do not exist in nature.
To accept insecurity and commit oneself to the
unknown creates a relaxing faith in the universe.
11. One can live only in the present moment.
12. Living process and words about it are not the same and should not be
treated equal in worth.
13. When we perceive the incongruity between theories about life and what
we feel intuitively to
be true on the nonverbal, nonjudging plane,
there is nothing to do but laugh.
14. Zen art has this characteristic quality, that it can fuse delight in a
work of visual art, knowledge of life,
and personal experiences and intuitions into one
creative event.
15. Each of us develops into a unique individual who enters into unique
transactions with the world as it
exists for him.
- Stewart W. Holmes and Chimyo Horioka,
Zen Art for Meditation,
1973
Cloud Hands Blog
Virtues and a Good Life
Epicureanism
Fitness and Well Being
Aging Well and Values
The Ten Paramitas of Buddhism
Dharmapada Sutra
of the Buddha
Tao Te Ching by
Lao Tzu
Stoicism
Green
Way Research Subject Index
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Disputing
Irrational Beliefs:
Questions to Ask Yourself
"1. What self-defeating irrational belief
do I want to dispute and surrender?
2. Can I rationally support this belief?
3. What evidence exists of the falseness of this belief?
4. Does any evidence exist for the truth of this belief?
5. What are the worst things that could actually happen to me if I don't
get
what I think I must (or do get what I think I must
not get)?
6. What good things could I make happen if I don't get what I think I must
(or do get what I think I must not
get)?"
-
Albert Ellis,
The Albert Ellis Reader: A Guide to Well-Being Using Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy,
1998.
The Work: Identifying, Questioning, and
Turning Around a Stressful Thought or Belief
- Is the thought or belief true?
- How can I absolutely know that the thought or
belief is true? What evidence or facts can justify saying the
thought or belief is true?
- How do I react and what happens when I have
that thought or belief?
- Who would I be without the thought? How
would my life be better or improve without the belief or thought.
- How can I turn-around, reverse the thought,
change the thought, modify the thought or belief, use different language
to describe the thought, reverse its truth value, not take it
personally, reject the thought or belief, trick myself into thinking
otherwise, or go beyond the thought or belief.
- Refer to "The Work" by
Byron Kathleen Mitchell.
Daily Resolutions
"I am a seeker of truth on a spiritual journey. I believe life has
sacred meaning and purpose.
May my behavior today express my deepest beliefs.
May I approach each and every task today with quiet impeccability.
May I be a simple, humble, and kind presence on the earth today.
May I see the Divine Nature in all beings today.
May I be grateful today to those who came before me, and may I make the roads
smoother
for those who will travel them after me.
May I leave each place at least a little better than I found it today.
May I truly cherish this day, knowing that it may be my last.
May I remember, remember, remember, not to forget, forget, forget."
- Bo Lozoff,
It's a Meaningful Life: It Just Takes Practice
Qualities of Self-Actualizing Persons
- Truth: honest, reality, beauty, pure, clean and
unadulterated completeness
- Goodness: rightness, desirability, uprightness,
benevolence, honesty
- Beauty: rightness, form, aliveness, simplicity,
richness, wholeness, perfection, completion,
- Wholeness: unity, integration, tendency to
oneness, interconnectedness, simplicity, organization, structure, order,
not dissociated, synergy
- Dichotomy-transcendence: acceptance,
resolution, integration, polarities, opposites, contradictions
- Aliveness: process, not-deadness, spontaneity,
self-regulation, full-functioning
- Unique: idiosyncrasy, individuality, non
comparability, novelty
- Perfection: nothing superfluous, nothing
lacking, everything in its right place, just-rightness, suitability,
justice
- Necessity: inevitability: it must be just that
way, not changed in any slightest way
- Completion: ending, justice, fulfillment
- Justice: fairness, suitability,
disinterestedness, non partiality,
- Order: lawfulness, rightness, perfectly
arranged
- Simplicity: nakedness, abstract, essential
skeletal, bluntness
- Richness: differentiation, complexity,
intricacy, totality
- Effortlessness: ease; lack of strain, striving,
or difficulty
- Playfulness: fun, joy, amusement
- Self-sufficiency: autonomy, independence,
self-determining.
- Abraham Maslow (1908-1970), Toward a Psychology of Being,
1968
Abraham
Maslow by Dr. George Boeree, Meta-Needs
Abraham
Maslow - Wikipedia
Principles of Enlightened Living - The Six
Buddhist Paramitas
(Perfections)
1. Dana Paramita: the perfection of generosity. Unattached
generosity, boundless openness, unconditional love.
Open heart, open mind, open
hand.
2. Sila Paramita: virtue, morality.
3. Shanti Paramita: patience, tolerance, forbearance, acceptance,
endurance.
4. Virya Paramita: energy, diligence, courage, enthusiasm, effort.
5. Dhyana Paramita: meditation, absorption, concentration,
contemplation.
6. Prajna Paramita: transcendental wisdom."
-
The Six Principles for Enlightened Living Dharma Talk (Mayahana Buddhism)
The Ten Paramitas of Buddhism
-
Dāna pāramī :
generosity, giving of oneself, charity, altruism
-
Sīla pāramī : virtue, morality, proper conduct,
ethics
-
Nekkhamma pāramī : renunciation, simplicity,
letting go, not-doing (wu-wei)
-
Paññā pāramī : transcendental wisdom, insight,
enlightenment
-
Viriya pāramī : energy,
diligence, vigor, effort
-
Khanti pāramī : patience, tolerance, forbearance, acceptance,
endurance
-
Sacca
pāramī : truthfulness, honesty, fidelity, correctness
-
Adhitthāna pāramī :
determination, resolution, intention, willpower
-
Mettā pāramī : loving-kindness, love,
compassion, not harming
-
Upekkhā pāramī : equanimity, calmness, peace, serenity
-
Pāramitā (Sanskrit) or
Pāramī (Pāli) is "perfection, completedness,
virtue."
The Ten Paramitas:
Transformational Practices for Realizing an Enlightened Heart-Mind
The Seven Holy Virtues
"1. Humility: modesty, selflessness,
respectful, not prideful or vain.
2. Kindness: compassion, friendliness, gentleness, harming none, sympathy
without prejudice.
3. Patience: forbearance, endurance, composure, forgiveness, not angry.
4. Diligence: energetic, decisive, careful, attentive, enthusiasm,
working, zeal, not lazy.
5. Liberality: generosity, giving, charity, Sermon on the Mount,
vigilance, not covetous or envious.
6. Abstinence: restraint, moderation, temperance, self-control, mindful,
abstinence, not lacking sensual self-control.
7. Chastity: sexual self-control, purity, cleanliness, not lustful."
- Aurelius Clemens Prudentius (c. 410 CE),
Psychomachia and Dante Aligihieri's (c 1315 CE),
Divine Comedy
The Path Towards Spiritual
Transformation
1. We admit the fact that our ordinary human condition, based on the
dualistic perception of life, is a stubborn habit that we normally conceal from
ourselves through denial.
2. We begin to look and ask for guidance in our effort to cultivate
a new outlook that embraces the spiritual vision of the interconnectedness
of all existence. The means of doing so are varied from supportive
spiritual environments to uplifting books.
3. We initiate positive changes in our behavior, which affirm that
new outlook. It is not enough to read and talk about spiritual
principles. Spirituality is intrinsically a practical affair.
4. We practice self-understanding: that is, we accept conscious
responsibility for noticing our automatic programs and where the fall short
of our new understanding of life.
5. We make a commitment to undergoing the catharsis, or
purification, necessary to change our old cognitive and emotional patterns
and stabilize the new outlook and disposition, replacing the old egoic habit
of splitting everything into irreconcilable opposites with and integrative
attitude.
6. We learn to be flexible and open to life so that we can continue
to learn and grow on the basis of our new outlook.
7. We practice humility in the midst of our endeavors to mature
spirituality. In this way we avoid the danger of psychic inflation.
8. We assume responsibility for what we have understood about life
and the principles of spiritual recovery, applying our understanding to all
our relationships so that we can be a benign influence in the world.
9. Guided by our new outlook, we work on the integration of our
multiply divided psyche.
10. We cultivate real self-discipline in all matters, great and
small.
11. We increasingly practice spiritual communion, which opens us to
that dimension of existence where we are all connected. Through such
communion and through continued growth in self-understanding, we become
transparent to ourselves.
12. We open ourselves to the possibility of bliss, the breakthrough
of the transcendental reality into our consciousness, whereby th ego
principles is unhinged and we fully recover our spiritual identity.
Through this awakening the world becomes transparent to us and we are made
whole.
- Georg Feuerstein,
The Deeper Dimensions of Yoga: Theory and Practice, 2003.
Four Agreements
"1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don't take anything personally.
3. Don't make assumptions.
4. Always do your best."
- Don Miguel Ruiz,
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom,
1997
Lakota Code of Ethics
1. Rise with the sun to pray. Pray alone. Pray often.
The Great Spirit will listen, if you only speak.
2. Be tolerant of those who are lost on their path.
Ignorance, conceit, anger, jealousy and greed stem from a lost soul.
3. Search for yourself, by yourself. Do not allow others to
make your path for you. It is your road, and yours alone.
Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for
you.
4. Treat the guests in your home
with much consideration. Serve them the best food, give them the
best bed and treat them with respect and honor.
5. Do not take what is not yours whether from a person, a
community, the wilderness or from a culture. It was not earned nor
given. It is not yours.
6. Respect all things that are placed upon this earth – whether it
be people or plant.
7. Honor other people’s thoughts, wishes and words. Never
interrupt another or mock or rudely mimic them. Allow each person
the right to personal expression.
8. Never speak of others in a bad way. The negative energy
that you put out into the universe will multiply when it returns to you.
9. All persons make mistakes. And all mistakes can be
forgiven.
10. Bad thoughts cause illness of the mind, body and spirit.
Practice optimism.
11. Nature is not for us, it is a part of us. They are part
of your worldly family.
12. Children are the seeds of our future. Plant love in
their hearts and water them with wisdom and life’s lessons. When
they are grown, give them space to grow.
13. Avoid hurting the hearts of others. The poison of your
pain will return to you.
14. Be truthful at all times. Honesty is the test of ones
will within this universe.
15. Keep yourself balanced. Your Mental self, Spiritual
self, Emotional self, and Physical self – all need to be strong, pure
and healthy.
Work out the body to strengthen the mind.
Grow rich in spirit to cure emotional ails.
16. Make conscious decisions as to who you will be and how you
will react. Be responsible for your own actions.
17. Respect the privacy and personal space of others. Do not touch
the personal property of others – especially sacred and religious
objects. This is forbidden.
18. Be true to yourself first. You cannot nurture and help
others if you cannot nurture and help yourself first.
19. Respect others religious beliefs. Do not force your
belief on others.
20. Share your good fortune with others.
- Native American Wisdom from the Lakota People
Characteristics of a Wise Practical Person
"They educate themselves
They are disciplined
They admit their mistakes and learn from them
They are patient
They take instruction humbly
They can handle rejection and failure
They know that they can only control themselves
They are guided by wisdom
They know their priorities
They are trustworthy and steadfast
They take calculated risks
They make the most of their relationships
They don't live beyond their means
They don't pay full price
They don't squander money"
- By
Casey Slide
Yamas and Niyamas of Hinduism
Yamas: Moral Observances and Restraints
1. Nonviolence, Not Harming, Not Killing Ahimsa
2.
Truthfulness, Not Lying, Not Gossiping, Good Speech Satya
3.
Not Stealing, Paying Debts, Not Gambling, Keeping Promises, Not Wasting Asteya
4. Divine Conduct, Immersed in Divinity, Celibacy, Following Marriage
Vows Brahmacharya
5. Patience, Restraining Intolerance, Don't Argue, Slow Down
Kahama
6. Steadfastness, Persistence, Perseverance, Industriousness
Dhriti
7. Compassion, Kindness, Helpfulness Daya
8. Honest, Law Abiding, Not Cheating, Fair Arjava
9. Moderation, Proper Eating, Simplicity, Not Greedy Mithara
and Aparigraha
10. Purity, Cleanliness, Proper Language, Keep Good Company
Saucha
Niyamas: Spiritual Practices, Religious Observances, Values
1. Remorse, Humility, Apologize, Acknowledge
Wrongdoing, Correct Your Faults Hri
2.
Contentment, Serenity, Gratitude, Simplicity, Following Spiritual Values Santosha
3. Giving, Charity, Liberality, Volunteer, Support Worthwhile and
Spiritual Causes Dana
4. Faith Astikya
5. Worship,
Surrender to God, Love of God Ishvara Pujana
6. Scriptural Listening Sidhanta Shravana
7. Cognition, Self-Study, Meditation, Seek Knowledge, Follow Guru
Mati and Svadhyaya
8. Sacred Vows Vrata
9. Recitation Japa
10. Austerity,
Fervor, Effort, Work, Energy Tapas
-
Yamas
and Niyamas
From the Indian scriptures,
The
Upanishads:
Shandilya
and the
Varuha.
From 600-100 BCE
Hinduism's Code of Conduct
See also
Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra, Circa 2nd Century
CE
(Yoga Sutra, Verses 2:30 – 2:34.)
Humanist
Manifesto 2000
I.
Preamble. Humanism is an ethical, scientific, and philosophical
outlook that has changed the world. Its heritage traces back to the
philosophers and poets of ancient Greece and Rome, Confucian China, and
the Charvaka movement in classical India. Humanist artists, writers,
scientists, and thinkers have been shaping the modern era for over half
a millennium. Indeed, humanism and modernism have often seemed
synonymous for humanist ideas and values express a renewed confidence in
the power of human beings to solve their own problems and conquer
uncharted frontiers.
II. Prospects for a Better Future.
For
the first time in human history we possess the means provided by science
and technology to ameliorate the human condition, advance happiness and
freedom, and enhance human life for all people on this planet.
III.
Scientific Naturalism.
The unique message of
humanism on the current world scene is its commitment to scientific
naturalism. Most world views accepted today are spiritual, mystical, or
theological in character. They have their origins in ancient pre-urban,
nomadic, and agricultural societies of the past, not in the modern
industrial or postindustrial global information culture that is
emerging. Scientific naturalism enables human beings to construct a
coherent world view disentangled from metaphysics or theology and based
on the sciences.
IV. The Benefits of Technology.
Humanists have consistently defended the beneficent values of scientific
technology for human welfare. Philosophers from Francis Bacon to John
Dewey have emphasized the increased power over nature that scientific
knowledge affords and how it can contribute immeasurably to human
advancement and happiness.
V. Ethics and Reason.
The
realization of the highest ethical values is essential to the humanist
outlook. We believe that growth of scientific knowledge will enable
humans to make wiser choices. In this way there is no impenetrable wall
between fact and value, is and ought. Using reason and cognition will
better enable us to appraise our values in the light of evidence and by
their consequences.
VI. A Universal Commitment to Humanity as
a Whole.
The overriding need of the
world community today is to develop a new Planetary Humanism—one that
seeks to preserve human rights and enhance human freedom and dignity,
but also emphasizes our commitment to humanity as a whole. The
underlying ethical principle of Planetary Humanism is the need to
respect the dignity and worth of all persons in the world community.
VII. A Planetary Bill of Rights and
Responsibilities.
To fulfill our commitment
to Planetary Humanism, we offer a Planetary Bill of Rights and
Responsibilities, which embodies our planetary commitment to the
well-being of humanity as a whole. It incorporates the Universal
Declaration of Human Rights, but goes beyond it by offering some new
provisions. Many independent countries have sought to implement these
provisions within their own national borders. But there is a growing
need for an explicit Planetary Bill of Rights and Responsibilities that
applies to all members of the human species.
VIII. A New Global Agenda.
Many of the high ideals that emerged following the Second
World War, and that found expression in such instruments as the
Universal Declaration of Human Rights, have waned through the world. If
we are to influence the future of humankind, we will need to work
increasingly with and through the new centers of power and influence to
improve equity and stability, alleviate poverty, reduce conflict, and
safeguard the environment.
IX. The Need for New Planetary
Institutions.
The urgent question in the
twenty-first century is whether humankind can develop global
institutions to address these problems. Many of the best remedies are
those adopted on the local, national, and regional level by voluntary,
private, and public efforts. One strategy is to seek solutions through
free-market initiatives; another is to use international voluntary
foundations and organizations for educational and social development. We
believe, however, that there remains a need to develop new global
institutions that will deal with the problems directly and will focus on
the needs of humanity as a whole. These include the call for a bicameral
legislature in the United Nations, with a World Parliament elected by
the people, an income tax to help the underdeveloped countries, the end
of the veto in the Security Council, an environmental agency, and a
world court with powers of enforcement.
X. Optimism about the Human Prospect.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, as members of the human community
on this planet we need to nurture a sense of optimism about the human
prospect. Although many problems may seem intractable, we have good
reasons to believe that we can marshal our talent to solve them, and
that by goodwill and dedication a better life will be attainable by more
and more members of the human community. Planetary humanism holds forth
great promises for humankind. We wish to cultivate a sense of wonder and
excitement about the potential opportunities for realizing enriched
lives for ourselves and for generations yet to be born.
Drafted by Professor Paul Kurtz, International Academy of Humanism,
USA
Traits and Behaviors of
Mental Heath
"Although no group of authorities fully agree on a definition of the
term mental health, it seems seems to include several traits
and behaviors that are frequently endorsed by leading theorists and
therapists (e.g., Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, Alfred Adler, Karen
Horney, Erich Fromm, Rudolf Dreikurs, Fritz Perls, Abraham Maslow,
Marie Jahoda, Carl Rodgers, Rollo May, Albert Ellis, etc.).
These include such traits as self-interest, self-direction, social
interest, tolerance, acceptance of ambiguity and uncertainty,
flexibility, acceptance of social reality,
commitment, risk taking, self-acceptance, rationality and
scientific thinking. Not all mentally healthy individuals
possess the highest degree of these traits at all times, but when
people seriously lack them or when they have extreme opposing
behaviors, we often consider them to be at least somewhat
emotionally disturbed.
Self Interest:
Emotionally healthy people are primarily true to themselves and do
not subjugate themselves or unduly sacrifice
themselves for others. Realizing that if they do not primarily
take care of themselves no one else will, they tend to put
themselves first, a few selected others a close second, and the rest
of the world not too far behind.
Self-Direction: Mentally healthy people largely assume
responsibility for their own lives, enjoy the independence of mainly
working out their own problems, and, while at times wanting or
preferring the help of others, do not think that they absolutely
must have such support for their effectiveness and well-being.
Social Interest:
Emotionally and mentally healthy people are normally gregarious and
decide to try to live happily in a social group. Because they
want to live successfully with others, and usually to relate
intimately to a few of these selected others, they work at feeling
and displaying a considerable degree of social interest and
interpersonal competence.
Tolerance:
Emotionally healthy people tend to give other humans the right to be
wrong. While disliking or abhorring other's behavior,
they refuse to condemn them as total persons for
performing poor behavior. They fully accept the fact that all
humans seem to be remarkably fallible; they refrain from
unrealistically demanding and commanding that any of them be
perfect; and they desist from damning people in toto when they err.
Acceptance of Ambiguity and
Uncertainty:
Emotionally mature individuals accept the fact that, as far as has
yet been discovered, we live in a world of probability and chance,
where there are not, and probably ever will be, absolute necessities
or complete certainties. Living in such a world is not only
tolerable but, in terms of adventure, learning and striving, can
even be very exciting and pleasurable.
Flexibility:
Emotionally sound people are intellectually flexible, tend to be
open to change at all times, and are prone to take an unbigoted (or
at least less bigoted) view of the infinitely varied people, ideas,
and things in the world around them. They can be firm and
passionate in their thoughts and feelings, and they comfortably look
at new evidence and often revise their notions of "reality" to
conform with this evidence.
Acceptance of Social Reality:
Emotionally healthy people, it almost goes without saying, accept
was is going on in the world. This means several important
things: (1) they have a reasonably good perception of social reality
and do not see things that do not exist and do not refuse to see
things that do; (2) they find various aspects of life, in accordance
with their own goals and inclination, "good" and certain aspects
"bad" ─ but they accept both these aspects, without exaggerating the
"good" ones and without denying or whining about the "bad" ones; (3)
they do their best to work at changing those aspects of life they
view as "bad," to accept those they cannot change, and to
acknowledge the difference between the two.
Commitment:
Emotionally healthy and happy people are usually absorbed in
something outside of themselves, whether this be people, things, or
ideas. They seem to live better lives when they have at least
one major creative interest, as well as some outstanding human
involvement, which they make very important to themselves and around
which the structure a good part of their lives.
Risk Taking:
Emotionally sound people are able to take risks. They ask
themselves what they would really like to do in life, and then try
to do it, even though they have to risk defeat or failure.
They are reasonably adventurous (though not foolhardy); are will to
try almost anything once, if only to see how they like it; and look
forward to different or unusual breaks in their usual routines.
Self-Acceptance:
People who are emotionally healthy are usually glad to be alive and
to accept themselves as "deserving" of continued life and happiness
just because they exist and because they have some present or future
potential to enjoy themselves. They fully or unconditionally
accept themselves. They try to perform competently in their
affairs and win the approval and love of others; but they do so for
enjoyment and not for ego gratification or self-deification.
Rationality and Scientific Thinking:
Emotionally stable people are reasonably objective, rational, and
scientific. They not only construct reasonable and empirically
substantiated theories relating to what goes on in the surrounding
world (and with their fellow creatures who inhabit this world), but
they are also able to supply the rules of logic and of the
scientific method to their own lives and their interpersonal
relationships. "
-
Albert Ellis, Ph.D.
The Albert Ellis Reader: A Guide to Well-Being Using Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy,
1998, pp. 235-252. Based on the 1962 essay titled "The Case
Against Religion: A Psychotherapist's View."
"The
philosopher should be a man willing to listen to every suggestion, but
determined to judge for himself. He should not be biased by appearances,
have no favorite hypothesis, be of no school, and in doctrine have no master.
He should not be a respecter of persons, but of things. Truth should be
his primary object. If to these qualities be added industry, he may indeed
hope to walk within the veil of the temple of Nature."
- Michael Faraday (1791-1867)
“To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts, nor even to
found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates a
life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust. It is to solve
some of the problems of life, not only theoretically, but practically.”
- Henry David Thoreau
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of
intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation
of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate
beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This
is to have succeeded."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I, who make no other profession, find
in myself such infinite depth and variety, that what I have learned bears no
other fruit than to make me realize how much I still have to learn. To my
weakness, so often perceived, I owe my inclination to coolness in my
opinions and any hatred for that aggressiveness and quarrelsome arrogance
that believes and trusts wholly in itself, a mortal enemy of discipline and
truth."
- Michel de Montaigne, "Of Experience," 1588
“That man is successful
who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much, who has gained the
respect of the intelligent men and the love of children; who has filled his
niche and accomplished his task; who leaves the world better than he found
it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who
never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it; who
looked for the best in others and gave the best he had.”
- Robert Louis Stevenson
“Truth is a
pathless land. Man cannot come to it through any organization, through
any creed, through any dogma, priest or ritual, not through any
philosophical knowledge or psychological technique. He has to find it
through the mirror of relationships, through the understanding of the
contents of his own mind, through observation and not through intellectual
analysis or introspective dissection."
- Jiddu Krishnamurti, The Core of the Teachings
"This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and
the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for
the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants,
argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people ...
re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book,
dismiss what insults your very soul, and your very flesh will become a great
poem."
- Walt Whitman
"The purpose of life
is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be
compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived
well."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The focus of my life begins at home with family, loved ones and friends.
I want to use my resources to create a secure environment that fosters love,
learning, laughter and mutual success. I will protect and value
integrity. I will admit and quickly correct my mistakes. I will
be a self-starter. I will be a caring person. I will be a good
listener with an open mind. I will continue to grow and learn. I
will facilitate and celebrate the success of others."
- Merlin Olsen
Non fui, fui, non sum, non curo
I was not, I was, I am not, I do not care
-
Epicurus, a tombstone epitaph, 4 Feb 341 - 270 BCE
Politeness, Fidelity, Prudence, Temperance, Courage,
Justice, Generosity, Compassion, Mercy, Gratitude, Humility, Simplicity,
Tolerance, Purity, Gentleness, Good Faith, Humor, and Love.
- André Comte-Sponville,
A Small Treatise on the Great Virtues: The Uses of Philosophy in Everyday Life,
1996
"The 'Wise Old Man' (also called senex,
sage or sophos) is an
archetype as described by
Carl
Jung, as well as a classic
literary figure, and may be seen as a
stock character. The wise old man can be a profound
philosopher distinguished for
wisdom and
sound
judgment. This type of character is typically represented as a
kind and wise, older father-type figure who uses personal knowledge of
people and the world to help tell stories and offer guidance that, in a
mystical way, may impress upon his audience a sense of who they are and who
they might become, thereby acting as a
mentor. He may occasionally appear as an
absent-minded professor, appearing absent-minded due to a predilection
for contemplative pursuits. The wise old man is often seen to be in
some way "foreign", that is, from a different culture, nation, or
occasionally, even a different time, from those he advises. In extreme
cases, he may be a
liminal being, such as
Merlin,
who was only half human. In medieval chivalric
romance and modern
fantasy literature, he is often presented as a
wizard. He can also or instead be featured as a
hermit.
This character type often explained to the
knights or
heroes—particularly those searching for the
Holy
Grail—the significance of their encounters. In storytelling, the
character of the wise old man is commonly killed or in some other way
removed for a time, in order to allow the hero to develop on his/her own.
In
Jungian
analytical psychology, senex is the specific term used in
association with this archetype. In Ancient Rome, the title of Senex (Latin
for old man) was only awarded to elderly men with families who had
good standing in their village. E xamples of the senex
archetype in a positive form include the wise old man or
wizard. The senex may also appear in a negative form as a devouring
father
(e.g.
Uranus,
Cronus) or a doddering
fool.
In the
individuation process, the archetype of the Wise old man was late to
emerge, and seen as an indication of the
Self. 'If an individual has wrestled seriously enough and long
enough with the
anima (or animus) problem...the unconscious again changes its dominant
character and appears in a new symbolic form...as a masculine initiator and
guardian (an Indian guru), a wise old man, a spirit of nature, and so
forth.' The antithetical archetype, or
enantiodromic opposite, of the senex is the
Puer Aeternus. Example:
The
Seven Sages of the Bamboo Grove."
- Wise Old Man
Cloud Hands Blog
Virtues and a Good Life
Epicureanism
Fitness and Well Being
Aging Well and Values
The Ten Paramitas of Buddhism
Dharmapada Sutra
of the Buddha
Tao Te Ching by
Lao Tzu
Stoicism
Green
Way Research Subject Index
This webpage emphasizes humanistic,
philosophical, non-religious, non-authoritarian, pragmatic, scientific and secular viewpoints
on how to live a good life. All
non-religious and non-spiritual persons can develop praiseworthy, viable, constructive,
tolerant, open-minded, practical, serious, and valuable ethical and moral
principles; and live a
good life.
Compiled by
Mike Garofalo
Green
Way Research, Red Bluff, California, 2004-2016
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
This webpage was last
modified or updated on October 18, 2016.
This webpage was first published on the Internet in March of 2004.
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